Friday, December 7, 2012

Holiday struggle

I've been having a lot of trouble keeping my head in the game. It seems I either have my diet under control, or exercise in check, but not both together these days.

This week was just rough for me mentally, and I'm not sure why. I was FaceTimeing with Rachel a few nights ago, and all I could think about was how fat I looked and kept shifting around trying to hide it from her, and myself. It was so discouraging to feel that way.

It probably has to do that my will power has been so out of control, and I feel crappy after I eat too much, or haven't worked out enough. It definitely has an effect on how I feel about myself, and how I view myself.

The holiday season has been a way bigger struggle than I anticipated. I'm now two weeks away from St. Maarten, and very unconfident that I'll hit the goal of weighing less than 210, which is a total reversal from last week.

It honestly isn't a good excuse, but I've just had too many opportunities to cheat. I know I like to refer to that as "indulging" but with how much I've been indulging recently, it's just cheating, and not a positive thing.

At this point I just want to get through the rest of 2012 without completely blowing it, and then renew my drive at the first of the year.

While I may be a bit down about how my weight loss is going, I certainly still have a lot to look forward to, and couldn't be happier. Tonight Jared and Ashleigh arrive, next week Sakief arrives, and the week after is vacation! I'm a pretty lucky girl.

Stats this week:
Weight: 213
Weight lost: 71.5
To go: 28.5
Work outs: 4 (yay me!)

Friday, November 30, 2012

Pinterest Crazy

I set a weight gain goal for myself over Thanksgiving, of no more than 2lbs net gain this week. I am realistic enough to know that I wasn't going lose weight this week, and felt pretty confident that I'd be up a little bit. Thankfully I stayed within my goal, and while I am up, I'm only back up to 212. Considering what I weighed at the beginning of the week, I'm thrilled.

With three weeks left until we leave for St. Maarten, I feel confident I can hit one of my goals of being under 210lbs before then. Of course I'll probably be back over 210 after vacation, but I'll deal with that a few weeks from now.

I also realized that I'm not going to be in the shape that I want to be in order to be comfortable in a bikini, so I did purchase a couple new tankinis, and both are very flattering. I'm really proud of how I look in them, and can't believe how far I've come.

Thanksgiving was a wonderful few days (especially the food indulgences, yum). But mostly being with family and friends. We went shopping for bridesmaid dresses for Corrie and Justin's wedding, and Corrie picked an absolutely beautiful dress. It was such a special time since not only were four bridesmaids there (out of 6), but having Aunt Ruth and Grandmere there too was just too much fun. I also got to spend some time with Becca, Ben and Ben's fiancé Ashley. It was the first time that I've met Ashley, and I think she's wonderful. I'm so happy for my friend.

While we still have two months until we move into our new place, with only two weeks left until Sakief moves to Texas (!!!!!!!!!) I've gone into organization/packing mode. Last night I went a little Pinterest crazy with organization tips. I took on my dresser last night and was able to clear out a drawer so that I could move my undergarments back into the dresser. Since my freshman year of college they have lived in a plastic three drawer organizer, so it's nice to have that empty.

I also used a Pinterest tip to make that old plastic organizer a little nicer looking and mod podged some scrapbook paper onto the front. I have a much larger organizer that I'd like to ultimately get rid of, so I'm hoping to move all of that stuff (hair ties, meds, makeup) into the smaller one. Perhaps I can get rid of them all together in the new place, but I simply don't have the storage space in my current apartment to not use them. I find that Pinterest offers a lot of "duh" ideas, and I'm hoping that with using some shoe boxes and other dividers I'll fit everything in to a couple of drawers.

This was a good week for me exercise wise. Erin reminded me of my plea from last week's post that I need more motivation to work out, so despite how tired I was, Monday we hit the gym. Tuesday we went to a Zumba class and had a blast! And then I dragged my lazy butt back to the gym last night. Let's hope that I can keep it up!

Stats this week:
Weight: 212 lbs
Weight lost: 72.5 lbs
To go: 27.5 lbs
Work outs: 3

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all my family and friends, and potential other random people who stumble upon my blog.

I was really hoping to be in the next decade before heading to Maryland today to gorge myself on my grandmother's and aunt's wonderful cooking, but alas, I'm a day early and a half pound short. However, 2 lbs of weight loss is nothing to scoff at, so I'm going into this holiday a happy girl. That, and I'm just plain excited to be with the Casner fam in Maryland.

It may be a short trip since I head home at the crack of dawn on Sunday, but it's totally worth it. I get som quality family time, quality fiend time, Corrie wedding planning time, and if she and I are lucky, Breaking Dawn 2 time.

Tomorrow we plan to make a pilgrimage to Arlington National Cemetery to visit Bumps. It will be the first time that I've visited his grave, and will definitely be a bittersweet moment. I'm just glad that I'll have Corrie with me, although I think we'll both be a mess.

Afterward I'm planning to meet up with my luvah and Becca, and finally get to meet Ben's fiancé Ashley. I very rarely get to see Ben and Becca anymore, so it should be a good time. It's amazing to think that we've been friends for 11 years now. It seems rare to find people who stick around for that long.

Saturday is reserved for bridesmaid dress shopping! It's such a blessing to be able to go with Corrie, three of her other bridesmaids, my aunt and my grandmother. A few years ago I wasn't as cognizant of how important it is to share these moments with the important women in your life, and I hope when my time comes, that I'll remember how I feel now.

I really have so much to be thankful for, both on this trip, and everyday. I say it a lot, but I'll say it again, I'm thankful for all of my readers. You guys help motivate me, and give me the strength to keep going on this journey. Thank you for the continued support. And remember, if you must be gluttonous today, fill up on turkey, it's good for you!

Weight: 210 lbs
Weight lost: 74.5 lbs
To go: 25.5 lbs
Work outs: 1 (someone help me get my work out motivation back, ahhhhhh!)

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Who Wears Short Shorts?


For the first time in years I bought shorts today! And the even better part is that they are size 14! Normally this wouldn't be such a big deal, but when I say that it's been years since I've worn shorts, I mean it has been so long that I can't even remember. It has to be in early college, maybe.

They are also the first size 14 shorts/pants/whatever that I have been able to fit in since starting this process. I can't wait to wear the in St. Maarten. I have bought so many new clothes for this trip... I should probably stop. But I just can't help it, I have a new body, and I'm so excited about this trip that this is how I'm letting it all out.

My real squee moment of the day though is that I applied for a new fabulous apartment! Sakief and I have been on the hunt for a place to call ours (since my current place is anything but), and today I found it! As much as I hate packing and moving, I can't wait for this one. He and I will stay put for awhile, and I'll finally have a place to settle into. I mean, my bed is currently in my living room and most of my belongings are still in boxes because I didn't want to get too comfortable.

I'm sure it will go by quickly, but January 25 can't come soon enough! New home here we come!

Friday, November 16, 2012

Then And Now

The first time I began a weight loss journey I was 17 years old and about to begin my senior year of high school. I started at 211 lbs and dropped to 170. It amazes me that I allowed myself to get to the point where I've lost over 70 lbs and just now to my "first" starting weight.

But that is not the point of this post. The point is how different I think my body is at the same weight. Here are the things I can definitely tell are different:

1) I was a solid pant size 18 in high school, now I'm a solid 16.
2) I continued to *ahem* mature once I started college. I definitely have a more womanly figure.

My mom also thinks a lot of the difference has to do with my activity level. Let's be honest, once I stopped sports, I was pretty much sedentary. Now I exercise on a regular basis, and (hopefully) have more muscle.

Junior Banquet 2003 - Approx 210 lbs
Halloween 2012 - Approx 215 lbs

Flipping through my scrapbooks to find an example of "heavy" high school me, I also came across really skinny high school me (post weight loss). It's nice to be reminded of what I'm working towards, and what I have the potential to be. I'm ready for that, but willing to be patient over the next few months so that I do it right, and I don't start all over again a few years from now. This is a life change. Forever.

Stats this week:
Weight: 212 lbs
Weight lost: 72.5 lbs
To go: 27.5 lbs
Work outs: 1 (I know, I know, I should have at least been at 2. No excuses, I was lazy.)

Senior Portrait, Spring 2004 Approx 170 lbs - Inspiration!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Weekend Update

If only I were as witty as Tina Fey or Amy Poehler...

In any event, this past weekend, as I've been referring to for weeks now, Sakief was in town.  It was (I've already mentioned this as well) our last visit before he moves here in 33 days (who's counting though?). 

I managed to make it through the weekend relatively unscathed, thanks to support from both Sakief and Adam.  We may have gorged ourselves, but I managed to keep it low/no carb!  Yay me!  I did have a little bit of rice on Thursday when Sakief and I went out for Thai (best Thai food I've ever had, we will go back), and then had some ice cream at Salt Lick (though I avoided the amazing bread and potato salad). 

I definitely consumed more fat and sodium than I'm used to, so no scale cheating this morning, but I fully expect to see excellent results on Friday when I weigh in again. 

I'm likely to be low on exercise this week.  I'm drained from getting up so early to take him to the airport, and then on Weds I'm supposed to pick Erin and Maiya up from the airport after work (my family likes to travel...).  Tuesday and Thursday are my days to work out before my weigh in on Friday then, and I'm hoping to make them really count.

This weekend was really lovely.  It's always nice to get to spend laid back quality time with Sakief.  We celebrated our 2 year anniversary on Thursday when he got to town.  It's hard to believe that it has already been 2 years.  I'm really the luckiest.  Not only that, but he surprised me with an iPad!  I've been playing with it all weekend, haha. 

Unfortunately Sakief is currently dealing with a lost bag situation... they put his checked luggage tag on the wrong bag (and I'm sure vice versa).  And because it is his carry on, he had no ID tag on it (and because they took it from him quickly at the gate).  Who knows where it  is... Hopefully when the other person realizes that their bag is missing, a swap can be made.

UPDATE: The bag was located... in Boston, haha.  At least they found it and it will be returned. 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Inching Closer

After my last post Sakief reminded me that I didn't give my stats for the week.  I was up to 217.5 (though I'd seen higher that week, ugh), which meant a net gain of 3.5 lbs while I was on my little vacation from healthy living.

As promised, I began my "no carb" life again on Monday, and I am already down to my lowest weight yet (since starting this journey) at 213 lbs! 

It's definitely a diet that is hard to stick to. Last night I brought Chipotle over to Adam and Erin's.  I had a salad, which was delicious, but Maiya had a taco (that she was refusing to eat, shocker). I kept staring at the taco thinking "mmmm, tortilla". 

Granted, if I can make it through two weeks (and I WILL), then I will hopefully lose my carb cravings.  That's what the "experts" say (aka, the internet).  I'm very committed to keeping this up for the next 6 weeks or so, and I'm ever hopeful that it will make the difference I think it will.

On a related note... when did bathing suits become so damn expensive?  I was browsing the internet looking for tops to go with my lonely black bottoms, and just the TOP cost $60 and up.  Ugh.  I think I'll go back to Target, for real.

I also managed to get in three work outs this week, so that part is falling back in line as well.  I'm wondering if I just needed a bit of a mental break (and physical) from all of this in order to come back stronger than ever. 

Tonight my lovely boyfriend comes to town to spend a long weekend here, and I can't wait!  This is our last visit before he moves here in about 5 weeks.  While 5 weeks apart is not something I'm looking forward to, I'm glad that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Pretty sure that those 5 weeks are going to fly by anyway, especially considering that I have a trip to MD planned for Thanksgiving in just a few weeks which makes me go "wweeeeeeeeeeeeeee". 

Stats this week:
Weight: 213 lbs
Weight lost: 71.5 lbs
To go: 28.5 lbs
Work outs: 3 (yes!!!)

Friday, November 2, 2012

No Excuses!

I've spent a lot of time over the past few weeks whining about how amazing my life is, and therefore why I OBVIOUSLY can't stick to my healthy lifestyle.  I have made a ton of excuses for myself for why I keep eating crappy or not working out.  To be fair, I really don't care that I enjoyed some higher calorie foods, and perhaps a bit of alcohol, while I've been traveling/playing over the past few weeks.  I don't believe in rewarding yourself with food, but I do believe in giving yourself a break when it's appropriate.  However, there is no excuse for the pure laziness while I've been at home.  Oh the fast food... gross.  And the lack of gym time, also gross.

I really do like working out.  I really do hate running.  It just won't stick.  But I spent 45 mins on the elliptical yesterday and it felt so good!  I'll be back tomorrow, you can count on it!  So why don't I work out?  Lazy. I've also managed to avoid yoga for what seems like months now... Sunday I'm definitely going.  I may need some help to get back to the gym on a regular basis, but I'm getting back into the right mind set, so I'm ever hopeful, especially since I do still have a visit from Sakief and Thanksgiving to get through before St. Maarten...

Today I bought lots and lots of healthy foods to stock my fridge and freezer, so I will have no excuses to not eat healthy.  As of Monday I'm back to my "phase 1", essentially no carbs except for veggies.  I am almost there already, however, I have a few bagel thins to eat still, so they will be breakfast this weekend (and I'm saving a few for Sakief to eat while he's here next weekend). 

My other big purchase of the day (or small as it may be) were two bikini bottoms.  No, I don't plan to go topless in St. Maarten.  I am still way too big (and may always be as my top half has changed dramatically) for the one bikini I own, and my other bathing suit it borderline too big.  I've been getting nervous about finding a bathing suit or two to take with me to St. Maarten, but bottoms are always my biggest problem.  They are both a little snug, but will hopefully serve as some added motivation to get my weight down more before vacation.  Tops are not as hard for me to find in my size, so I decided to wait until closer to the time.  Both are basic black, so I can buy almost anything to go with them.   I saw a bunch of cute tops at Target while I was there; I'm sure there will be plenty of options when the time gets closer.

So my mantra for the next 7 weeks or so (and thereafter) is NO EXCUSES!  Sure Thanksgiving will be hard, but I've got a lot more at stake, my health and happiness.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Nobody Pats Baby on the Stomach

I'm just going to let everyone use their imagination with that title.  Trust me, the story is fun, haha.

In my haste, I forgot to weigh in again this morning, but I can guarantee that it wasn't good news.  I did sneak a peak at the damage I'd done earlier this week, and have definitely gained a few pounds.

I've made a conscious decision not to let it get me down, and have already begun stocking my fridge with all high protein and healthy veggie foods.  My plan is to go no-carb through the holiday season (with the exception of Thanksgiving, and at least until we leave for St. Maarten), so that I can enjoy some traditional foods (mashed potatoes, yum!).

Hopefully it will help me drop some significant weight in a few weeks.  I'd really love to see my weight under 200lbs before the end of the year.  Erin and I are already gearing up for the 1st of the year push.  We are both in weddings next year, and are ready to fab for them!

I'm off to Pensacola this weekend, but other than seeing lots of friends in celebration of Ali's birthday tomorrow, I have no idea what we're doing.

Short post, that's it!

Friday, October 12, 2012

The beginning of my crazy month

Last weekend I began a month of craziness and travel by attending my dear friend Amanda's wedding in ATL.  As with most people, I struggle when I travel, so I went into the weekend armed with a game plan.  I packed my dinner Friday night (and ate only that dinner), I was determined to work out on Saturday (and did, 30 mins on the elliptical), I ate a healthy breakfast Saturday morning (egg white omelet, yum!), and then walked 3 miles round trip to the World of Coke (but it's ALL THE WAY downtown!).  And that's where the game plan went off track.  On the way back from World of Coke we stopped at The Varsity for chili burgers, onion rings and ice cream, oy.  Then of course the wedding (dinner, cake, alcohol, sigh).

Sunday we went to brunch, and there was a serious lack of willpower on my part (and tough food choices).  Bagels and cream cheese, breakfast casseroles and cookies, oh my!  I was so full afterward that I was determined not to eat the rest of the day, and almost stuck to that.  Until about 8 pm when I decided that I was hungry (I wasn't) and the only thing around was leftover pizza.

Monday and Wednesday were great days, and I had no indulgences.  I got in a good work out on Monday and was feeling re-energized.  Until I woke up on Tuesday that is.  I have had zero energy since, and have therefore not been able to get my lazy butt to the gym.  Case in point: this morning I was still so tired that I used shampoo as body wash.  Not because I was too lazy to go to the store for body wash, there is plenty in my shower, but because in my still delirious state, that's what I chose to put on my loofa.

Tuesday I had a work dinner, and well, many courses of amazing food later and I actually regret nothing.  It was delicious.

The moral of the story is, that indulging is perfectly acceptable.  But when you indulge too much, it works against you.  I gained two pounds back this week.  And I'm ok with that because I can be honest with myself about what I ate and my lack of working out.

My parents are in town this weekend to play with Maiya while Adam and Erin are at ACL, which actually means I'll easily get myself back on track.  Them being in town probably means added eating out, however, they are two of my biggest supporters, and I'm always hesitant to eat poorly around them (the exception, Erin's spaghetti last night, noms). That also keeps me feeling positive about traveling to San Diego next week, since my mom will be there with me every meal.

I am determined to weigh less than 200 lbs by the time we go to St. Maarten (Dec 22, ahh!), which means I have a little over two months to lose 16.5 lbs.  It's doable, but considering how slow my weight loss has been (mostly my fault), is going to be a serious challenge.  Especially with a trip to PCola, an extended visit from Sakief, and Thanksgiving in the middle.

Today was my original deadline to weigh less than 200, and obviously I've missed that.  But I have lost about 10 lbs, which is nothing to be upset about.

Stats this week:
Total weight loss: 68.5 lbs
To go: 16.5/31.5
Work outs: 2 (ugh)

Friday, October 5, 2012

Quick Update

I only have a few minutes in between work and an appointment, but I didn't want to miss my opportunity to write my usual Friday update.

Considering that Sakief was in town last weekend, which always screws with my diet, I had a really good week.  I got in 3 good work outs, and mostly stuck to healthy eating, with few indulgences. 

Then of course, I was so discombobulated this morning that I ate breakfast before I weighed in.  BUT I did still get on the scale just to see, and after eating a full breakfast and drinking about a pint of water, I was still at 214.  Which tells me that I probably lost a little weight this week, but I'm not will to guesstimate how much that may have been.

It's got me really pumped to keep up the momentum this weekend while in ATL, so hopefully I won't go to crazy off diet.  I have packed a sandwich and baby carrots for dinner, so that's covered.  I also have clothes for a morning work out tomorrow, but every time I intend to work out, I never do, so yeah.  Here's hoping I don't flake out on myself.

Have a good weekend all!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Another Milestone!

It happened earlier than I thought it would, but I have now lost over 70 lbs (70.5 lbs to be exact)!  Not that it was out of reach after last week's weigh in, but since the scale has been creeping slowly downwards, I certainly did not expect to see so much loss in one week. 

Of course it comes right at the beginning of my craziest month(s) this year.  Sakief is here this weekend (yay!). I'm in ATL for Amanda's wedding next weekend.  My parents come to visit the weekend after.  Then a long girls weekend in San Diego.  And to wrap things up I go back to Pensacola for my last (sniff) visit before Sakief makes his way to Austin for good.  I do get one weekend off to relax, but then Sakief comes to visit Austin again.  Another weekend to relax before I head to Maryland for Thanksgiving.  Oy vey!  But I love it.  And hate it... travel always kills my diet.  So here is my plea friends... help me!

Remind me to pack food for the planes.  That's a big one.  I'm not a big fan of people making comments when I've already chosen what I want to eat, but I think in this case I can make an exception.  I've only got a few short months to get in beach shape, and so much travel before then!!  So shame away :)

I could not be happier today.  Thanks for all of the continued support.  I've gotten a lot of love over the past few weeks, and it means so much!

Stats this week:
Weight lost: 2.5 lbs
Total weight lost: 70.5lbs
To go: 29.5/14.5
Work outs: 2 (boo me)

Thursday, September 27, 2012


Today marks one year since I lost my grandfather.  This morning I have been reflecting on my time with him, the past year, and all of the events that were happening around the time of his death.  And what I take away from all of it is how thankful I am to all of the wonderful people that I get to share my life with.

Bumps had been hospitalized several weeks before he passed away, right before I took my board exam.  I didn't learn that he had been hospitalized until after the exam was over.  While I was angry at the time, I can't help but be thankful now.  I'd like to think that I'm a strong enough person that I could have kept myself focused on my boards, but the fact is, I would have been thinking about him constantly, and really struggled to concentrate on the most important test of my life.  So thank you to all of my family members, who I know were suffering, for sheltering me from that so that I could do my best.  And thank you of course to Sakief who helped me study, kept pushing me, and put up with my nasty mood swings in the several months leading up to the exam.

On the day that he died, I was preparing to leave for my best friend's wedding.  I had stitches removed from my leg.  I needed to go get my nails done for the wedding.  I had things to finish up at work before being out for several days.  Needless to say, it was a hectic day.  I ended up leaving work early because I was such a mess, knowing that his time was coming.  I was in such a frenzy when I got home that I busted my leg wound back open.  Thank you to Joyce who stayed late at work to patch me back up.  Thank you to Mollye who kept me company at my nail appointment, and for holding the phone for me when my dad called to give me the news.  And thank you to Laura to who kept tabs on my family in DC for me, and who so generously (and sneakily) paid for my nails to be done so that I didn't have any additional worries.

Sakief and I (with the blessing of the rest of my family) still attended Rachel and Robert's wedding that Friday.  As soon as I arrived in Ohio I was surrounded with love from Rachel and her family.  It was so great to celebrate the marriage of two wonderful people and spend time with some of my best friends, and let me forget my sadness for just a little while. 

After the wedding I got to spend several days with my family as we remembered the life of my grandfather.  Those are days that I will cherish forever.  It's amazing what you learn about someone after they have passed.  I am so in awe of my grandfather and the life that he led.  Another huge thank you to Sakief here, who went home to Pensacola to care for my pets (and who had to spend almost an entire day in the Columbus airport) so that I could be with my family. 

I miss my grandfather everyday, and am so thankful to have gotten to spend 25+ years with him.  I'm thankful that he got to see his children and grandchildren grow up; and I'm thankful that he had the chance to meet his first great grandchild.  That, to me, is what makes life worth living.

I'm thankful for my two grandmothers, who I am so lucky to have.  And for the rest of my family, my parents, brothers, sisters in law, niece, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.  I don't know many families who are able to keep in touch like my family is (like cousins cousins cousins, I know them all it seems!).

In a few months I am heading back to Maryland for the first time since Bumps's memorial.  I am so excited to see my family, most of whom I haven't gotten to see since the memorial.  Corrie and I are hoping to go visit Bumps, who is buried at Arlington.  It's nice to think that I will have someone who understands there to hold my hand, and vice versa.

I love you Bumps.  Miss you everyday.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Another 20ish pounds!

I felt like it was time for another photo update.  I know it's hard for me to see changes in myself since I see myself everyday.  Comparing pictures is what works best.  Considering how impressed all of my friends were a few weeks ago while I was in Pensacola, I thought it was time to impress myself as well.

This outfit is no longer going to be a good one to compare myself in, as my sweater is WAY too big, and therefore I think it's hard to see how different I look.  I tried to capture just how big the sweater is on me with a side view where you can see that it kind of hangs, whereas in the older picture, it's pretty obvious that the sweater is flush against me.

49 lbs down!

68 lbs down!

I didn't lose any weight this week, but I also didn't gain, so it's a win!  Especially since I was little miss piggy last weekend.  I'm really looking forward to hitting the 70 lb mark, and hopefully not too long from now, breaking into the next decade.  Weight loss is definitely slowing down for me, I'd say partially due to the fact that it just gets harder the closer you get to your goal, and partially because I'm still having a hard time keeping my will power in check.  But I'm getting there again, and as long as my weight doesn't start to creep back up, I'm good with that.

My injuries are also healing, which will mean that I can resume a normal work out again.  Muscle relaxers are working wonders for my back and I'm going to try to get a massage this weekend which I'm hoping will only speed up recovery.  My toe also isn't bothering me so much, and I got in a few long elliptical runs this week (I decided not to push it and run on the treadmill with a broken toe, no point in knocking me out of work outs all together!).  In a few more days (once the swelling is down more) I'll resume running on the treadmill.  Need to get ready for Color Me Rad!

Stats this week:
Weight lost: 0 lbs
Total: 68 lbs
To go: 32/17
Work outs: 3

Monday, September 17, 2012

I'm a Mess

BEWARE: Complaining ahead

I have a muscle spasm in my back, a broken toe, and a stupid haircut.  First world problems to the max.  I'm on muscle relaxers that are "non drowsy" and make me feel like I have narcolepsy. 

At least I now know what's wrong with me.  Here's the problem.  No weight lifting is official by doctor's orders, and now that I broke my toe, it looks like I'm restricted to the elliptical. 

Despite my explicit haircut instructions, I managed to end up with feathers, again. 

And I ran into a door with my foot, hence the broken toe (yeah, hence!). 

Ugh.  Over it.  I just want to work out!  And not have stupid hair!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Back Pain

As you all know, I was very excited about the results from the 3-day diet earlier this week.  Unfortunately I did put a pound back on, but I am still down a total of 3 lbs since last Friday, so I'll take that as a win.  I have decided to try it at least one more time, because one of my coworkers wants to try it and I said I'd do it with her for support.  So Mon, Tues, Weds next week I'm back to it.  If it means another 3 net lbs down by next Friday, I think it may be worth it.  Even if it shows me more permanent results, I'm not sure that I want to do it all that often, I don't want to become dependent on it to continue to lose weight.  I think the only thing about putting weight back on is that I ate well and exercised the rest of the week, so I thought I'd at least maintain.  I must have lost a ton of water weight, which caused the upward movement of the scale by the end of the week, but still makes me scratch my head and think, am I not working hard enough?

On that topic though, I'm afraid I may need to take a break from working out, but we'll see what happens.  I think I mentioned awhile ago that I was having back pain after sleeping in the chair at the hospital, and had assumed that I just tweaked a muscle because of a funny sleeping position.  Now I'm not so sure.  The pain had mostly gone away until earlier this week, and now it's gotten to the point where it's hard to get out of bed in the morning because I'm in so much pain.  I have an "establish care" visit scheduled with a doc in two weeks, but I don't want to wait that long, so I think either this afternoon or tomorrow I'll visit an emergency care clinic to see what they have to say. 

I'm really hoping it's just a sore muscle and not an injured one so that I can keep working out.  Because of the pain I was experiencing earlier in the week I avoided lifting, and that doesn't seem to make a difference, it's just exercise in general.  This week I spent a lot of time on the elliptical, which I figured was the safest, lowest impact, exercise I could do, and yet, more pain.  It's even hard to use my left arm, which is especially bad (but thank goodness I'm right handed).

Stats this week:
Current weight: 216.5
Total weight lost: 68
To go: 32/17
Work outs: 3

Monday, September 10, 2012

Drum Roll Please!

As I mentioned on Friday, I was beginning a 3-day diet that promised "up to" 10 lbs of weight loss in those 3 short days.  In doing my research I discovered that many people saw more like 5-7 lbs of weight loss, which is still incredible!  I was pretty skeptical, but it certainly couldn't hurt.  So did it work?

I'd say yes!  As of this morning I weight 4 lbs less than I did on Friday.  So what if it isn't 10 lbs, or even the 5-7 lbs so many others saw?  4 lbs is incredible for 3 days!  And I'm ecstatic.  And also still a bit in disbelief (I think I got on the scale 5 times this morning, but it said 215.5 each time).  The instructions are pretty clear that you shouldn't substitute, and I did, so did that make a difference?  Maybe.  I don't really care.  What I ate worked.

My biggest hope from this 3 day diet was to take off the rest of the weight that I had gained back, and give myself a little boost.  Hopes met.

I am still reserving judgement until I weigh in on Friday to make sure that the weight stays off, but if it does, I think I may try this again. 

Here is the diet, I indicated where I made substitutions (either because I didn't buy the food, or don't like it).  I have heard it called the "Military Diet" and the "Cleveland Clinic Diet" because supposedly it was designed to lose weight quickly before surgery (and the military adopted it to use before a weigh in). 

DAY 1:
B: 1/2 Grapefruit, 2 tablespoons peanut butter, 1 slice toast (I had high fiber tortillas, type of bread wasn't indicated), Coffee/tea (No creamer, I did use splenda)
L: Slice toast (again, tortilla), 1/2 cup tuna (I hate tuna, so I used canned chicken breast), Coffee/tea
D: 3 ounces meat (whatever you want), small apple, 1/2 banana, 1 cup green beans (I ate broccoli), 1 cup vanilla ice cream (I ate Greek yogurt with vanilla extract and splenda)

DAY 2:
B: 1 egg, 1/2 banana, 1 slice toast (tortilla, yum)
L: 1 cup cottage cheese (I ate fat free), 1 hard boiled egg (not really sure it has to be hard boiled, but mine was), 5 saltines
D:  2 hot dogs, no buns (I ate turkey dogs), 1 cup broccoli, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup baby carrots (9 or so), 1 cup vanilla ice cream (Greek yogurt again for me)

DAY 3:
B: 5 saltines, small apple, slice cheddar cheese (I ate two slices low fat swiss)
L: 1 hard boiled egg, 1 slice toast (tortilla)
D: 1 cup tuna (1 small can = 1/2 cup, again, I ate chicken), 1/2 banana, 1 cup vanilla ice cream (Greek yogurt)

The instructions say not to add any spices but salt and pepper, so it can be a bit boring at times.  Also, coffee/tea are only listed from B/L on Day 1, but I drank coffee every morning (no creamer, just splenda).  For the most part it wasn't so hard, but some of the meals are small so I got hungry earlier than expected. 

Also, you can supposedly do this once a week (3 day diet, then 4 days of regular, healthy, eating).  Like I mentioned earlier, if my weight is 215.5 or less on Friday, I may definitely try this again. 

I definitely caution anyone trying this to be sure that it will meet your nutrition needs, and to discontinue if you don't feel well (I read about several people who had hypoglycemic symptoms after a day or 2).  But good luck if you do try! 

Friday, September 7, 2012

Regaining Ground

That past few weeks have been rough weight loss wise, all of which is my fault, but rough none the less.  Thankfully I am really getting my butt back in gear, and I am back in the teens this week!  I am still up a bit over what my lowest weight has been, but I'm so happy to see some progress in the right direction. 

I decided to make a few other changes this week.  As you all know, I am addicted to Pinterest, but I haven't been experimenting as much recently.  There are a few things that I'm eager to try out, including remedies for dark circles under your eyes and those evil stretch marks.  I'd love to be the type of person who is proud of my stretch marks, and a part of me is, but I'm not a mom, I didn't go through a pregnancy and child birth to earn those stretch marks.  I ate myself fat.  And yes, I'm doing something about it, which is where my bit of pride comes from, because we all know they wouldn't be so prominent had I not lost so much weight.  But I also want them gone. 

Lastly, today I'm starting a 3 day diet that promises weight loss "up to 10 lbs".  From everything I've read people lose 5-7 lbs on average in those 3 days.  5 lbs would be awesome, so we'll see what happens when I weigh in Monday morning.  I'm comfortable trying it because it's not horribly restricting calorie wise, so I don't think I'll starve all weekend.  What I'm most skeptical of, is can that weight stay off?  I guess we'll see when I weight in again on Friday.  Again, from what I've read, if you're living a healthy lifestyle anyway, you should be able to keep off whatever weight you lose in the 3 days.  I'll share all of my findings (and the diet if it works) on Monday!

This weeks stats:
Current weight: 219.5 lbs
Weight lost: 65 lbs
To go: 35/20
Work outs: 2 (boo me! But I did run a mile, haha)

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Go Greek!

I'm a little shocked that it's taken me so long to share this recipe (and if I have, then I have a really poor memory, whoops).  It was my first Pinterest success story, and what prompted me to want to cook ALL THE THINGS that I found on Pinterest (and the recipe that convinced Sakief that Pinterest wasn't so bad after all, if it meant I cooked him delicious food).

Healthy Chicken Gyros:

Tzatziki sauce:
1 cup plain Greek yogurt
1 regular cucumber, peeled and seeded
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon white wine vinegar
Salt and pepper
Squeeze of fresh lemon juice
Extra virgin olive oil

Shred (I use a cheese grater; a food processor would work too) the peeled and seeded cucumber.  Squeeze out the excess water (I put mine in a paper towel to squeeze it).  Combine with the other ingredients and drizzle with EVOO. Prepare the night before for best flavor.

For the chicken:
2 teaspoons minced garlic
Juice of 1 lemon (2-3 Tablespoons)
2 teaspoons red wine vinegar
2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2 heaping Tablespoons plain Greek yogurt
1 Tablespoon dried oregano
Salt and pepper
1 1/4 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breasts

Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl, then add chicken to marinade.  Let sit overnight for best flavor.

Cook the chicken however you'd like (skillet, broiler, grill, etc).  Cut into strips.  Serve on a pita (pictured with a high fiber tortilla, I LOVE them) with tzatziki sauce and diced tomatoes and onion (red is best, I had yellow, whatever).

For an even better low carb option, and how I usually eat this dish, serve as a salad over baby spinach and use the tzatziki as a dressing.  It's delicious!  I only ate this tonight in a tortilla because I was too lazy to go to the grocery store for spinach, and broccoli just didn't sound appetizing with it (and remember, this is a LOW carb life, not NO carb).

Last night's cooking (when I was preparing everything for tonight, as well as last night's dinner) was quite an adventure for my poor hands.  I made spaghetti sauce for dinner, and as I was draining the fat from the meat, I managed to spray it all over my left hand.  Needless to say, it still hurts.  Then as I was grating the cucumber, I thought it might taste delicious to add some skin from my right thumb.... It's the first time I've bled since moving to Texas, and probably the most profusely I've bled in years, and I couldn't find a stupid band aid.  But I did have paper towel and medical tape... totally the same thing, right?  And not annoying at all.  But the spaghetti was delicious (served with veggie pasta, noms), as well as the gyros, so I guess it was worth the sacrifice.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

One Mile

I ran a mile, I ran a mile, I ran a mile, hey hey hey hey!

I got on the treadmill today, and said to myself "today is the day" and BOOM!  One mile down.  I walked for a few minutes after the mile and then was able to jog for another five minutes.  It felt good.  Sort of.  Right now I feel incredible.  When I completed the mile I thought I might be having a heart attack, and I wish I was joking.  Thankfully I recovered fairly quickly so I was able to continue jogging.

It gives me hope that this C25k program really is working, and by the time I run the Color Me Rad 5k in December, I'll actually run it.  And it won't kill me.  That would be nice.

Also, the more I run, the more I have so much respect for those who run (and who like it).  I'd like to say that one day I'll keep up with Sakief on his frequent 6 milers, or could run a marathon like Ashleigh, but I don't think so.  Let's just stick with the 5k (maybe a 10k someday), and continue to admire those who kick my ass in running.

I spent the long weekend in Pensacola with Sakief, and it was wonderful!  He's healing really well, in fact, he was cleared to resume a normal diet today.  We did all of the typical things that we do, beach, eat, sleep, but this weekend was exceptionally nice.  I think we really got to make the most of our time together.  Hopefully it will hold me over the next four weeks until he's back in Austin for his birthday.

I did fairly well sticking to healthy foods this weekend, though not great.  Definitely better than when I was there a few weeks ago for his surgery.  Oy.  He did a lot of cooking for me, which I love for several reasons 1) he cooks 2) it's delicious 3) he tailors it to my low carb lifestyle (except the rice, but I do well at eating small portions of rice).

And in other very important news, I requested my absentee ballot from Florida today since I moved to Texas too late to be registered for the general election.  I don't care who you vote for, but get out and vote people!

Friday, August 31, 2012

Slow Week

Sometimes I think I blog too often, posting when I don't really have anything to say, and worried that people will just roll their eyes when they see my newest post pop up on Facebook.  But then I get really incredible messages from people I would have never guessed read my blog, and I don't really care if others roll their eyes.  Block me from your newsfeed or defriend me, I don't care. (For the record, I have no idea if I actually annoy anyone, just a feeling)

This was definitely a slow week for blogging though.  Just nothing to report about my low carb life.  I didn't try any new recipes, no spectacular work outs that I'm super proud of, just status quo, and that's cool.

I did start taking off the weight I put back on while away for Sakief's surgery.  A half a pound.  I would have liked to see more progress, but considering that I had a bad weekend of eating (oh circus), I can't (and am not) disappointed.  Just glad to see that it's coming back off.

I did get some good news this week, that I'm hoping will spur me to try harder than I have been the past few weeks... My family is officially going to St. Maarten for Christmas!  My parents brought it up LAST December, and we've been waiting for the trip to be able to be booked since then.  Then of course I got a big fat "maybe" when I asked my boss for time off.  I was crushed.  Until she told me earlier this week that my time off is approved.  I can't wait to spend 9 days on a beautiful beach with all of the people I love the most.

I think I mentioned it awhile ago, but Erin and I are determined to be bikini ready before this trip.  I've got an idea in my head of where I will need to be weight wise, in order to look the way I want in a bikini, but who knows?  Which means I just need to kick some serious weight loss butt and do it! 

This was a good week for exercise.  I got in 5 work outs this weeks, only "skipping" Saturday (circus) and Weds (I deserve a break, sheesh!).  Running is still difficult, but I'm determined to finish this C25k program and to start enjoying running.  I'll get there!

Since it's a long weekend, I'm taking off for Pensacola tonight, shocker, haha.  Sakief, I know you'll read this... I'm giving you public permission to yell at me if I want to eat unhealthy foods.  And I will say "thank you" and not argue (but maybe pout).  I really need to break the habit of letting myself eat whatever I want while I'm out of town.  I travel entirely too often to always be in that mind set, and it's going to completely derail my hard work if I don't do something soon.

This week's stats:
Work outs: 5
Current weight: 221
Weight lost: 63.5
To go: 36.5/21.5

Friday, August 24, 2012

Hoping for a Miracle

Yeah, I didn't get one.  I gained weight, there is no way around that one.  I also have no one to blame but myself.  When I sit and think about all the food that I let myself eat because "I'll get back on track when I'm home", I get a little sick (I am back on track by the way). 

I am up to 221.5 this morning, a whole 3.5 lbs, gross.  What makes that even more gross to me is that I've been very strict this week, so how much damage did I actually do in that one week?  Ugh.  Shame on you Sarah.

I also have only worked out one time in about 2 weeks.  What is wrong with me?  I packed clothes to run while I was in Pensacola, but was either "too tired" "too full" (because I stuffed my damn face) or didn't want to be away from Sakief anymore because I had already been away long enough stuffing my face.  Le sigh.

I got back to the gym on Tuesday, and it felt great.  Except that sleeping in a hospital chair tweaked my back, and Wednesday I woke up so sore I could hardly move my neck and left arm.  I finally found my heating pad last night, and feel much better this morning.  I plan to run this afternoon, but have decided to put off any more weight lifting until my muscle is back to normal.

What also saddens me is that I have probably set myself back too far to reach my 90 day goal of being under 200 lbs.  The silver lining there is that no matter what, I will have lost a lot more weight, so I can't complain about that.

And so I continue on, and hope in the weeks to come that I undo the damage, and then some.  Even with the inevitable set back every now and then, I know I will succeed.

Monday, August 20, 2012


I spent most of last week in Pensacola, and unfortunately, also spent most of last week not exercising, and not worrying about what I was eating.  It seems as though my other weight loss buddies ran into similar issues... not logging food, etc.  It gets you way off track.  And I will take full responsibility for any damage I may have done.  More than anything, it has just gotten my system out of whack.  I hate that.  So I'm spending this week in reboot/detox mode to get my habits back in check.

The next few days will be some boring meals, but I think it's important to make sure I eat unprocessed foods.  So lots of raw veggies and protein, that's it.  We'll see what the scale has to say on Friday.  I'm shooting for maintaining the 218 from my last weigh in.

Despite the fact that I feel like crap because I haven't exercised in week, and feel bloated because of the food I ate, I did get a lot of validation for the hard work I've put in.  It's been a long time since I had seen many of my Pensacola friends (I'm so glad I got to see so many people this past week, it was awesome!), and they all told me how great I look.  It's really exciting to hear it when it's hard to see the everyday changes in the mirror.  A few people even had to double take when they saw me because they weren't sure it was actually me.  I'm pretty pumped.  And it helps give me the motivation to reboot this week.

I'm not the only person undergoing a significant physical transformation.  Many of you who read my blog know me, Sakief, or both of us well enough to know that he had surgery last week (or you read my million surgery updates on Facebook, so you figured it out).  I think it's also safe to say that many of you know that he was having jaw surgery to correct an under-bite.  He has a lot of healing left to do, but here are some before and after photos that show his amazing transformation!

Just Before Surgery
Just After Surgery

Please excuse the blood in the second photo.  And thank you to everyone who sent love and support on Wednesday (and after).  I was pretty neurotic (shocker!), so it was really nice to hear from everyone, and I think Sakief really appreciated it as well.  Here's to hoping the next 4 weeks go by quickly and smoothly and he continues to heal as well as he has been!

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Delicious Dessert!

The past few days have been full of cravings for me, which I suppose I should expect every now and then.  It definitely seems as though when I have allowed myself to indulge (responsibly) that I tend not have a desire to binge.  I haven't really let myself indulge for the past few weeks, which is why I saw a serious slip last Wednesday (damn you tacos) and why, for the first time since I moved to Texas (and months prior), I had a pizza delivered to my house last night.  I am so ashamed.  And honestly, it wasn't worth it.  I have been gassy, bloated, and all around bleh feeling since.

Today I wanted to be very careful about what I ate, because of last night, and because I have no idea how well I'll eat while I'm in Pensacola.  Then the chocolate bug hit.  Thankfully, I keep only healthy sweet snacks in the house, and my chocolate options were limited.  Also thankfully, I'm lazy, so I knew I wouldn't leave the house just to pick up a candy bar, or other horrible for me chocolate deliciousness.  My ready made options at home were cocoa roasted almonds (an absolute favorite) or a chocolate protein shake, neither of which seemed like they'd hit the spot.  Then I remembered seeing a recipe for chocolate frozen yogurt (on Pinterest of course) and knew I had all of the ingredients.

Very simply... 1 cup greek yogurt (fat free, obviously), 2 Tbsp cocoa powder, sweetener of your choice (stevia, agave, or splenda).

You can freeze it or not.  I didn't freeze mine because I was hungry and ready for some chocolate!  Unfrozen it has the consistency of chocolate mousse.  Greek yogurt is already pretty thick, but the cocoa powder "dries" it out a bit and really thickens it up.  I loved it!  Apparently if you want it frozen you should stir it every few minutes so it doesn't get completely hard, but I couldn't tell you what the consistency would be like.  I'd assume closer to that of a traditional frozen yogurt.

Anyway, for this whole cup (it's a lot!) there are only 150 calories, 1 g fat, 15 g carbs, and 25 g protein.  There is also 4 g fiber (who knew cocoa powder is loaded with fiber?).  Lovely.

For another quick recipe update.  I made party chicken a few weeks ago, and slow cooked it in the oven.  I tried it again last week, but wanted to see how it would work in a crock pot.  Seemed as though it wouldn't be a problem.  My biggest concern was if it would change the flavor.  I have noticed that oven vs. crock pot does seem to give a different flavor for some things (like when I tried making the chicken for avocado chicken salad in the crock pot, not good).  Well, the verdict is in, and it was still great!  I didn't notice a difference at all.  I did change up the spices I used, just to play around, but the chicken and bacon are the main flavors and it all seemed the same. 

I am so ready for Tuesday to get here!  I am still being so impatient...

Friday, August 10, 2012

Just What I Needed!

Every week I get nervous to step on the scale, and every week (well, most weeks, I have had a few off weeks), I see success.  So why do I continue to be nervous?  Probably because I've come to expect a lot of myself. 

It's amazing how easily I can convince myself that my week was blown.  I had a slight lapse in will power on Wednesday when I lab rep brought in fajitas from Chuys.  I've been going home for lunch to spend time with Nora since she's still healing, so I politely excused myself and decided I would only eat my own food.  And then I got back to work, there were tons of leftovers and the entire office smelled of fajitas.  I may have had a few... but then was so uncomfortably full that I didn't eat dinner, so maybe some of it balanced out?  Now I know that one meal shouldn't kill a week, but since this was just 36 hours ago, I was worried.

The scale was definitely a surprise this week... I'm down to 218!!  What up new decade?!?! Haha.  That's a 3 lb total loss, so thankfully I'm starting to catch up to where I should be to hit my 90 day goal.  If I'm doing my math correctly I should be about 8 lbs down, and I am now 6.5 lbs down.

Having a great weigh in is just what I needed this week.  It's been a slightly overwhelming week otherwise, and I've been feeling down; this definitely perks up my mood before what is sure to be a long weekend.  I'm very impatiently waiting for Tuesday to arrive so that I can be back in Pensacola with Sakief for his surgery.

I'm hoping to still weigh in next week, however, I won't have my scale in Pensacola (I'm there until Sunday), and I don't like using multiple scales.  Consistency is key.  I'll have to see how close Sakief's scale is to my own.

Stats this week:
Weight lost: 3 lbs
Total weight lost: 66.5 lbs
To go: 18.5/33.5
Work outs: 3

Sunday, August 5, 2012


All of last week Sakief couldn't stop raving about the incredible meatloaf and mashed potatoes that he bought at Sam's Club.  Yes, Sam's Club.  And he assured me it was the best meatloaf that he had ever had.

To me, being the best meatloaf I've ever had doesn't mean too much to me, because I didn't eat much meatloaf growing up.  It just wasn't on our usual rotation of meals.  But, after spending days hearing about this meatloaf, I decided that I really wanted some dang meatloaf!

Meatloaf poses two problems to my particular diet plan. 
1) It typically is made from high fat meats (pork and beef)
2) Because of the fat content recipes call for bread crumbs as a binder (nothing worse than a crumbly meatloaf!)

The fix is simple... if you use a lean meat, you don't need the bread to bind it.  But that is where the other issues start.  Meatloaf (to me at least) is meant to be a very flavorful, fatty tasting food.  How does one accomplish that with a lean meat?  Well, you don't.  But you try your best.

I scoured the internet for different meatloaf recipes to come up with a new recipe that seemed tasty to me (Googled it and looked at a few, very difficult you know). 

Here is what I came up with....

20 oz Super Lean Ground Turkey (99% fat free)
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 large egg
Thyme, Rosemary, Chili Powder, Garlic and Black Pepper to your liking

1/3 cup tomato ketchup
1 TBS dijon mustard
2 TBS brown sugar
Worcestershire sauce (a few dashes)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Spray loaf pan with cooking spray.  Combine turkey, onion, egg and spices and press into loaf pan.  Combine ketchup, mustard, brown sugar and worcestershire sauce and pour over turkey mixture as glaze.  Bake uncovered for 45 mins.  Yield 5 servings (they seem small, but very filling with all the protein).

Calories - 188
Fat - 2.4 g
Carbs - 12.2 g
Protein -  27.6 g

I was definitely nervous about using such a low fat meat (I'm often disappointed by taste when I use the super lean ground turkey), but I think the end result was delicious!  Perhaps drier than I would have liked, but between the onion and glaze, the meat was kept from drying out too much in the oven.  The different flavors from the spices was also incredible.  I'm really looking forward to my leftovers!

Over the past few days while I was dreaming of meatloaf, I was also lamenting the fact that potatoes are NEVER on my diet (and to be honest, I don't miss them all that much).  But who doesn't love potatoes with their meatloaf?  If I were still in Pensacola (or if life would just fast forward a few more months and Sakief had already moved here) I would have asked him to make mashed cauliflower for me.  I'm still having difficulty with it, while he is the master, hands down.  It's also super time consuming, and I didn't have the patience.

Pinterest to the rescue!  I saw a pin yesterday that gave me the idea for "Loaded Cauliflower".  Basically just load all of your favorite baked potato toppings onto steamed cauliflower, and voila!  Substitute!  I used fat free cheddar, turkey bacon and Greek yogurt (with a dash of ranch seasoning, yum!)

There is more meatloaf than it appears... I went a little cauliflower crazy.  Also, I suck at serving, and most of the meatloaf glaze ended up on the cauliflower... whoops!  Hope you love it as much as I do!

Friday, August 3, 2012

Just one pound?

I saw this image on Pinterest the other day with the caption "Still mad you 'only' lost 1 lb?"

I'm certainly never mad when I lose weight, no matter how much or how "little" I lose.  But sure, when I expect to have lost more weight, I get disappointed.

Just like last week, I felt great all week (I REALLY love that feeling), so I felt so sure that this would be a big week.  Especially because I ate well the entire week, I got in my work outs, etc, whereas the week prior I had a horrible weekend of eating while Sakief was in town.

So I actually lost more than 1 lb this week, I lost 1.5 lbs.  And no, I'm not mad.  But yes, disappointed.  I had also managed to get it in my head that I would be into the teens this weigh in, so falling short was hard as well.

Since beginning my push to under 200 lbs, I've lost 3.5 lbs, and according my calculations, to be on track I should be down 6 lbs.  So that's a bit disappointing as well.  I keep falling further from my goal.

Ok, I'll stop whining now, because the fact is, I lost 1.5 lbs this week!  And that rocks!  I just need to stare at that pound of fat a little more and remind myself that that disgusting mess is now banished from my body.  That's right, banished, because it is NEVER coming back.

This was a good week, and I know that I will continue to feel as great as I have been, and that the weight is going to continue to fall off.  I just can't wait to have a few great weeks!

This week's stats:
Weight lost: 1.5 lbs
Total weight lost: 63.5 lbs
Current weight: 221 lbs
Pounds to go: 21.5/37.5

Wednesday, August 1, 2012


I had planned to blog later in the day, but what better time than when you can't sleep?  It's not that I woke up too incredibly early (5:30am, meh, early, but doable), but that it took me forever to fall asleep as well, and then it was a restless sleep.  I'm going to be paying for this later at work, I can tell.  Maybe it's a two cups of coffee kind of day.

I've been having trouble sleeping for awhile.  Tea at bed time seems to help me wind down from the day, but even when I'm exhausted sleep doesn't come easily.  Typically my problem isn't falling asleep, it's staying asleep.  I think I'm going to need to start taking some more drastic measures (and by drastic I mean trying that new ZzzzQuil product, or something like Unisom). 

Most of the time when I don't want to work out, it's because I'm tired.  Well, can I really be that exhausted everyday?  I'm hoping that if I can somehow fix my sleep pattern that the answer will become "no", instead of "yes", because honestly, I could probably convince myself to fall asleep around 6pm every night if I tried.  I'm that tired.

Other than my total lack of sleep last night, this week has gotten off to a great start.  I'm feeling really good otherwise, and am noticing more subtle signs of weight loss.  I can't remember if I mentioned it in a previous post or not, but I have been wearing a heart rate monitor when I exercise to more accurately assess the calories I'm burning (it's super awesome and programmed specifically for me, kinda love it).  The only downside (and honestly I don't even notice it anymore) is that you strap the dang thing to your chest.  What got me excited was that yesterday I had to tighten the strap!

My rings are also getting loose, and I'm starting to see some hint of actual ankles, not just cankles.

I spent the weekend recovering from a 24 hour bug (I guess that defeats the purpose of a 24 hour bug if it takes so much out of you that you stay in bed for the following 48), but I did get back to the gym on Monday to FINALLY finish week 2 of my C25k, and then convinced myself to start week 3 last night.  Week 3 is the first week where I'm really feeling challenged, so I'm hopeful that I'll get to see a real improvement as I continue this week's exercises and move forward.  I have upped the speed at which I run from 5.0 mph to 5.5 mph, and I actually find it easier.  I think 5.0 was too slow for my stride, which made the whole work out just plain uncomfortable.

Tonight is going to be my rest night, and I'll be back at it tomorrow.  Hopefully I can convince myself that I like running if it do it enough...

Friday, July 27, 2012

On my way!

I told Sakief last night that I was nervous for my weigh in today.  Last week I didn't lose any weight, and then I ate poorly over the weekend while he was in town.  BUT throughout the rest of this week I've been really watching what I eat, working out even when I've been too exhausted to, and generally feeling skinny.  So what would the scale tell me this morning?  Had I done too much damage last weekend to make up for it during the week?  Or was the week enough?

The week was enough!  I lost 2 lbs this week!  Hopefully in future weeks when I'm not indulging on the weekends I can make up for the fact that I didn't lose any last week, and catch up to where I should be to reach my 90 day goal (if I can keep up 2lbs/week, that should do it, so I should be closer to 4lbs down by now, oh well). 

I am definitely continuing to see my body change for the better.  Everything is looking slimmer and more toned.  I can better define where the fat ends and muscle begins.  It's pretty exciting.

Adam and Erin always tell me how great I look (since they see me the most), but just the other day told me that it's more than how I look physically, but that my aura (my word) is just all around better.  They said it's more than just confidence (I've always had plenty of that I suppose).  It was a pretty great compliment.  I posted a picture of myself on Facebook last night that a co-worker took last week, and I think it captures exactly what they were talking about.

Last night I was able to complete day 2/week 2 of my C25K.  It felt really good.  I had a pretty tough day at work yesterday, and it really helped to release all of my stress and anxiety.  I have one more run to finish out the week, which I was hoping to do this afternoon, but I think I'll wait until tomorrow.  I woke up in the middle of the night not feeling well, and didn't end up getting much sleep, plus my whole body seems to be shutting down.  At first I thought I might just force myself to go, but I think it's better for me health wise to take it easy today, and resume running tomorrow when I've gotten plenty of sleep.  It will probably be a mostly sedentary weekend except for whatever work outs I can get in, so that I make sure I'm fully recovered and ready for next week.

Tonight's plan (other than nap for awhile after work) is hanging out with Maiya and watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics.  I'm pretty darn excited.

This week's stats:
Weight lost: 2 lbs
Total weight lost: 62 lbs
To go: 23/38
Work outs: 2 in the gym, kayaking, and some at home circuit training

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

A mile in my shoes

Almost one month ago I set a goal that by tomorrow I would be able to run a mile without stopping.  Unfortunately, I failed.  Mostly because I set the goal and then promptly forgot about it until last week... Despite the fact that I am working out on a regular basis, running is just not a part of my routine, and I'm not good at it (nor do I particularly enjoy it). 

When I remembered last week that my deadline was coming up, I got on the treadmill a few times to see how far I could push myself.  The farthest I got was .65 miles, though I averaged about 1/2 a mile every time I tried.  Not bad considering I haven't been trying at all.  Each time I ran last week it almost killed me, so this week I decided I'd start the treadmill couch to 5k again.  Since I know I am in better shape than before, I started on week 2. 

Yesterday was day 1 of week 2, and it wasn't so bad.  The work out has you alternate running and walking for 30 mins, but I went a little longer, and had a long cool down.  In my few personal training sessions I learned some weight training exercises for arms to do while walking on a treadmill, so I added those in to my warm up and cool down.  I can definitely tell there is more definition to my shoulders, biceps, and triceps, it's just hard to see since I still have some weight to lose from my upper arms.  Next week I plan to up the weight I'm lifting since it's getting a little easy.

Today was supposed to be day 2, but I'm a little sore (hips, ow), and overly tired.  I'm not skipping my work out altogether, just didn't make it to the gym.  I have a couple of at home work outs that I'll do tonight while watching tv and preparing some healthy food for the rest of the week (breakfast quiche are cooking as I type, and smell incredible!).

Hopefully I can stick to the C25k program this time around, and will be up to a mile (and then some) in no time!

Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Hunger Games

Ok, so I know that I'm a little late on posting my usual Friday weigh in.  And no, the title of my post is not some play on words, I have no hunger issues, those were worked out long ago when I first started this journey and shrunk my stomach, and learned how to eat to keep myself full.

I have a few reasons for why I didn't post on Friday.

1) I didn't lose any weight last week (wah wah) which I'm actually ok with.  But because there wasn't a loss (or gain) to report, I wasn't in a hurry.  I was definitely hoping to be down a few pounds to really kick start my 90 days to under 200 lbs, but I know it will happen, so no bad feelings here.

2) Sakief came to Texas on Friday morning (this is the most important reason why I didn't blog, but not the actual reason).  He came into San Antonio, so I had to drive down to get him, but trust me, I had plenty of time had I really wanted to blog.

The main reason I didn't blog on Friday is

3) I had been completely sucked into the Hunger Games trilogy, and was close to finishing Mocking Jay. I absolutely could not put it down before I left for the airport. 

Multiple people have told me over the years that I should read the series, but I had other things to read first, and until recently haven't had a lot of time to sit down to read (other than on airplanes).  Last week Erin told me that she had started the series and was totally hooked and I really needed to start them.  They've been loaded on my Kindle for ages waiting for me to get to them, but on Tuesday I finally decided to start.  That's right, I started the series on Tuesday, and finished yesterday morning while Sakief slept.  That's how much I liked them.  I must also admit that I also read faster than the average person, but they are decently easy books to read.

The writing was just incredible.  It is definitely a super disturbing story, but the writing is absolutely excellent.  I couldn't believe the visual imagery (often times disturbing as I mentioned), but the fact that Suzanne Collins wrote so well that I could make a clear mental image for every scene kept me hooked.  If you haven't read them yet, do yourself a favor, and do it! 

This weekend with Sakief was incredible as always.  It was nice to be able to spend most of the day Friday with him, and not just Saturday and Sunday.  I am very thankful that my office was closed on Friday, the more time with him, the better.  We got to go to Salt Lick Friday night with Adam, Erin and Maiya, then did some kayaking on Saturday, and finished the day with a date of Indian food and The Dark Knight Rises.  Today we just relaxed before making the trek back to SA. 

Our next scheduled visit isn't until Labor Day, but I will likely be in Pensacola before then.  We are waiting for his jaw surgery to be scheduled (which has been more than frustrating), but if for some reason it doesn't happen until September I'm still hoping to make it to PCola sometime in August.  6 weeks apart is a little more time than I'm comfortable with.

I'm going to be kicking my butt in the gym this week to make up for the weekend, but I'm finding that I can (and want to) work out longer and longer.  Thursday I was on the elliptical and recumbent bike for 2.5 hours, it was awesome.  I can also tell that my arms are getting stronger.  Weight lifting is easier, and there are some yoga poses that I couldn't hold for long that now are no problem.  Go arms go!

Weekly summary:
Current weight: 224.5 lbs
Work outs: 4
To go: 25/40

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Cauliflower Pizza Crust

As promised, a recipe for cauliflower pizza crust.  I won't bore you with the other ingredients as it doesn't matter to me how you top your pizza.  I love this recipe.  I even told Sakief it might be the best low carb substitute I've found, other than mashed cauliflower (which I have yet to master, but Sakief makes so well).  I see a trend... cauliflower apparently makes a great substitute!  I'll have to see what other cauliflower recipes I come across.

2 eggs
2 cups fat free shredded mozzarrella
2 cups riced, fresh, uncooked cauliflower (use a cheese grater)
minced garlic
basil (or other herbs of your liking)

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.  Mix all ingredients together.  Line a baking sheet with foil and spray with cooking spray.  Spread mixture on baking sheet to desired thickness (mine looked good when it was approximately the size of a medium take out pizza).  Bake 15 mins (I went for 20 mins thinking it didn't look done enough, but don't forget that it will go back in the oven once you top it).  Crust should look browned, but not yet crispy.  Remove from oven.  At this point I used a spatula to separate the crust from the foil.  Top with desired toppings, and place it in the oven for and additional 10 mins or so, until crust looks crispy on the edges and cheese is melted.

I found that it is hard to pick up like a regular slice of pizza, but not impossible.  Expect to use a fork though!

Unbaked Crust
Baked Crust (A little more brown than it should be)
Finished Product!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Sharing is Caring

It definitely appears that my little freak out last week was for naught.  I eluded to it earlier this week, but with my official weigh in this morning, I am down to my lowest weight yet... and 6 lbs since last week!  Thank you detox tea for helping me see all the hard work I've been doing!

Being down 6 lbs from last week also means that I've hit my latest mini goal... 60 lbs by today!!  I have lost exactly 60 lbs since the beginning of my journey, and I am thrilled!  Thank you all for the support and love through my ups and downs.  I've got quite a bit left to go, and I hope you'll see me through.

Recently my gym put up a large board that asks members to share their 90 day goals, and there are markers to write them down.  Today I'm going to add mine, and that is to weigh less than 200 lbs.  That also means that today I am going to be sharing my actual weight, not just what I've lost.  I have thought about it a lot for the past week, and with this morning's weigh in, I feel confident that my goal is attainable. I am planning to lose 25 lbs in 90 days!  That's about in line with the rate that I have been losing weight (8-10 lbs a month), and I know that now that I've set the goal, I'll work even harder to get there.

Starting weight: 284.5 lbs
Current weight: 224.5 lbs
90 day (Oct 12) goal: 199.5 lbs
Pounds to go: 40/25
Work outs this week: 3, thank goodness!

Stay tuned for a few recipes I'll be sharing soon.  Cauliflower pizza crust and stuffed tomatoes!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

This is why I blog

I originally sat down to write a blog post about an hour and a half ago.  I was going to write about how I hadn't been to the gym since Sunday, and why I wasn't going to go tonight, even though I knew I should.  But as I began composing the post in my head (I often do this through out the day, and inevitably forget something witty I planned to say that once I remember, no longer makes any sense in a future post), I realized that every excuse I had for NOT working out today, was exactly WHY I SHOULD.

I have made a conscious decision not to lie in my blog, not even a little (at least intentionally).  So not only did I realize that I had no valid excuse for not working out, but I also realized that I felt guilty about the idea of not working out, and embarrassed to have to tell the truth in such a public forum.  That was the motivation I needed, and I promptly changed from my PJs to a sports bra and yoga pants and ran out the door.

So now, here I sit, still sweaty from an hour on the elliptical, and so glad for it.  And this is why I blog.  It really does keep me accountable.  Thanks.

EDIT: Also, Sakief.  Sakief helped convince me to work out.  Can't forget to acknowledge my man :)

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Detox and Decompress

Friday was a rough day, obviously.  I was excited for my last personal training session because I knew he'd work me hard, and it would help get the frustration out.  Which is sort of right... he worked me so hard, that I cried (frustration and pain, my knees were busted).  Literally had tears streaming down my face.  And once I got myself back together, I still got in the car and cried some more.  It was actually really cathartic.  Just a huge release of all my emotions.  Maybe a scream would have been less embarrassing (maybe), but the crying really helped.

What also really helped is the continued support that I am getting from so many people.  The fact is, when I don't believe in myself, I really do need to hear that others do.  I truly have the best support system, and wouldn't be doing so well without them.  Special thank yous to Sakief, Mollye, Erin and Cassie who really understand what I'm going through, and are always willing to listen to me vent.

I took Mollye's advice and picked up a detox tea on my way to the gym on Friday.  Not only has it helped me feel better physically, but emotionally as well.  I drink a cup before bed and it helps relax me, so I have been sleeping better.  I'm still a little on edge, but know that this will pass.  I was curious to see if the detox teas really help so I've been on the scale that past few days.  Since it's not my official weigh in day, I won't share specifics, but this morning I was at my lowest weight yet!  Fingers crossed I don't fluctuate too much throughout the week (I know I'll flux a little, always do), and can announce an official loss on Friday!

Today I got back in my Sunday routine of 10 am yoga, and 11:15 spinning.  Yoga was lovely, as always.  Spinning sucked.  I really pushed myself hard last week, and am still in a lot of pain (actual pain, not just soreness, you should see the bruises on my knees), so unfortunately I couldn't last the whole class.  Since I'm still a beginner, I'm really trying not to overdo it.  No sense in injuring myself.  I still had a 500 cal work out, so I'm pretty happy with that.  Next week will be better :)

Friday, July 6, 2012

Bad Mood

This morning I am in a shitty bad mood.  For a few reasons.  One of them being that I gained weight (insert expletives here).  Not only did I gain weight, but I went backwards a decade.  I knew I would, but already being a bad mood, it just pushed me over the edge.  And it makes me mad at myself, because I know I gained weight because I ate poorly for a lot of the week.  Despite the fact that I know why I gained the weight, I'm becoming very discouraged.  I've stopped seeing positive changes and actually think you can see negative ones.  I feel huge again, and don't really like the sight of myself in the mirror.  I won't give up, but it's hard to keep fighting when it seems like I can't win.

The issue that I'm finding is that I am losing my will power when around other people (like a weekend in Pensacola, and a 4th of July BBQ... stupid homemade guacamole and chips).  This is definitely where I need to get myself back in check.  Otherwise I ate just fine this week, but I clearly overdid it enough in those few days to mess me up.  I even worked out quite a bit (5 times this week, phew!).

But what is really making me angry this morning is Time Warner Cable (you warned me Cassie and Sam).  My cable box has decided to start refreshing itself every few hours, and sometimes every few minutes, for no apparent reason.  I've tried "troubleshooting" with a remote technician several times and it's not working.  This morning my remote tech told me he'd schedule a service call... in 4 days.  And my window will be 8am-9pm.  Are you effing kidding me?  A 13 hour window?  It's completely unacceptable, and I am fairly certain that once I move (February, wee), I will be looking into other cable/internet providers.  Gah!

I think if I don't stop ranting I'm just going to work myself up even more, and I need to get ready for work.  Next week will be better, I hope.

Total weight lost: 54
To go: 46
Work outs this week: 5
Pounds to lose before next week: 6, eff!!!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Tortilla Tuesday

This is probably not going to become a long term thing, but welcome to the inaugural addition of Tortilla Tuesday.  There are a few things I've found (this these chicken nuggets), that are easy, healthy things to eat.  One of those things, are high fiber, low carb tortillas by Ole.  Each one has 73 calories and 12g of fiber, enough said (Erin lovingly refers to them as my poop tortillas, but trust me, they taste great). 

I use them for lots of things, most often for chicken enchiladas, yum!  It's an easy way for me to curb carb cravings without feeling guilty since most of the carbs are fiber.

Unfortunately I haven't been able to find them outside of Pensacola, so I have to import them when I visit.  It also means that I have only myself to eat them, and once a package is opened, they need to be eaten.  Hence, Tortilla Tuesday, a forum I will use to post different ways to use the tortillas (because they shouldn't get boring).

Tonight's edition: Pizza Quesadillas, an idea that I got from Pinterest, of course.

I often have used the tortillas as a base for pizza, but never thought of folding it to make it easier to eat (duh).  It made it so much easier!

My pizza quesadillas (2 of them, yum, it was like eating 2 big pieces of pizza), were a total of about 330 calories (the calorie equivalent of 1 typical piece of pizza). 

I used a little bit of canned pasta sauce (like Ragu) as the base.  The toppings were mushrooms, onions, and turkey pepperoni.  Sprinkle on a bit of fat free mozzarella (1/2 cup total) and some oregano, fold in half, and pop in the oven (350 degrees) for about 10 mins.

 It was delish, and super satisfying!  Not only knocked out a carb craving, but a pizza craving as well!

I had my second personal training session today, and I loved it!  My last one is Friday, and despite all of my complaining over the weekend because I was sore, I do think I'll miss it.  Sad. 

Happy Fourth of July!