Holiday struggle

I've been having a lot of trouble keeping my head in the game. It seems I either have my diet under control, or exercise in check, but not both together these days.

This week was just rough for me mentally, and I'm not sure why. I was FaceTimeing with Rachel a few nights ago, and all I could think about was how fat I looked and kept shifting around trying to hide it from her, and myself. It was so discouraging to feel that way.

It probably has to do that my will power has been so out of control, and I feel crappy after I eat too much, or haven't worked out enough. It definitely has an effect on how I feel about myself, and how I view myself.

The holiday season has been a way bigger struggle than I anticipated. I'm now two weeks away from St. Maarten, and very unconfident that I'll hit the goal of weighing less than 210, which is a total reversal from last week.

It honestly isn't a good excuse, but I've just had too many opportunities to cheat. I know I like to refer to that as "indulging" but with how much I've been indulging recently, it's just cheating, and not a positive thing.

At this point I just want to get through the rest of 2012 without completely blowing it, and then renew my drive at the first of the year.

While I may be a bit down about how my weight loss is going, I certainly still have a lot to look forward to, and couldn't be happier. Tonight Jared and Ashleigh arrive, next week Sakief arrives, and the week after is vacation! I'm a pretty lucky girl.

Stats this week:
Weight: 213
Weight lost: 71.5
To go: 28.5
Work outs: 4 (yay me!)