On my way!

I told Sakief last night that I was nervous for my weigh in today.  Last week I didn't lose any weight, and then I ate poorly over the weekend while he was in town.  BUT throughout the rest of this week I've been really watching what I eat, working out even when I've been too exhausted to, and generally feeling skinny.  So what would the scale tell me this morning?  Had I done too much damage last weekend to make up for it during the week?  Or was the week enough?

The week was enough!  I lost 2 lbs this week!  Hopefully in future weeks when I'm not indulging on the weekends I can make up for the fact that I didn't lose any last week, and catch up to where I should be to reach my 90 day goal (if I can keep up 2lbs/week, that should do it, so I should be closer to 4lbs down by now, oh well). 

I am definitely continuing to see my body change for the better.  Everything is looking slimmer and more toned.  I can better define where the fat ends and muscle begins.  It's pretty exciting.

Adam and Erin always tell me how great I look (since they see me the most), but just the other day told me that it's more than how I look physically, but that my aura (my word) is just all around better.  They said it's more than just confidence (I've always had plenty of that I suppose).  It was a pretty great compliment.  I posted a picture of myself on Facebook last night that a co-worker took last week, and I think it captures exactly what they were talking about.

Last night I was able to complete day 2/week 2 of my C25K.  It felt really good.  I had a pretty tough day at work yesterday, and it really helped to release all of my stress and anxiety.  I have one more run to finish out the week, which I was hoping to do this afternoon, but I think I'll wait until tomorrow.  I woke up in the middle of the night not feeling well, and didn't end up getting much sleep, plus my whole body seems to be shutting down.  At first I thought I might just force myself to go, but I think it's better for me health wise to take it easy today, and resume running tomorrow when I've gotten plenty of sleep.  It will probably be a mostly sedentary weekend except for whatever work outs I can get in, so that I make sure I'm fully recovered and ready for next week.

Tonight's plan (other than nap for awhile after work) is hanging out with Maiya and watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics.  I'm pretty darn excited.

This week's stats:
Weight lost: 2 lbs
Total weight lost: 62 lbs
To go: 23/38
Work outs: 2 in the gym, kayaking, and some at home circuit training

A mile in my shoes

Almost one month ago I set a goal that by tomorrow I would be able to run a mile without stopping.  Unfortunately, I failed.  Mostly because I set the goal and then promptly forgot about it until last week... Despite the fact that I am working out on a regular basis, running is just not a part of my routine, and I'm not good at it (nor do I particularly enjoy it). 

When I remembered last week that my deadline was coming up, I got on the treadmill a few times to see how far I could push myself.  The farthest I got was .65 miles, though I averaged about 1/2 a mile every time I tried.  Not bad considering I haven't been trying at all.  Each time I ran last week it almost killed me, so this week I decided I'd start the treadmill couch to 5k again.  Since I know I am in better shape than before, I started on week 2. 

Yesterday was day 1 of week 2, and it wasn't so bad.  The work out has you alternate running and walking for 30 mins, but I went a little longer, and had a long cool down.  In my few personal training sessions I learned some weight training exercises for arms to do while walking on a treadmill, so I added those in to my warm up and cool down.  I can definitely tell there is more definition to my shoulders, biceps, and triceps, it's just hard to see since I still have some weight to lose from my upper arms.  Next week I plan to up the weight I'm lifting since it's getting a little easy.

Today was supposed to be day 2, but I'm a little sore (hips, ow), and overly tired.  I'm not skipping my work out altogether, just didn't make it to the gym.  I have a couple of at home work outs that I'll do tonight while watching tv and preparing some healthy food for the rest of the week (breakfast quiche are cooking as I type, and smell incredible!).

Hopefully I can stick to the C25k program this time around, and will be up to a mile (and then some) in no time!

The Hunger Games

Ok, so I know that I'm a little late on posting my usual Friday weigh in.  And no, the title of my post is not some play on words, I have no hunger issues, those were worked out long ago when I first started this journey and shrunk my stomach, and learned how to eat to keep myself full.

I have a few reasons for why I didn't post on Friday.

1) I didn't lose any weight last week (wah wah) which I'm actually ok with.  But because there wasn't a loss (or gain) to report, I wasn't in a hurry.  I was definitely hoping to be down a few pounds to really kick start my 90 days to under 200 lbs, but I know it will happen, so no bad feelings here.

2) Sakief came to Texas on Friday morning (this is the most important reason why I didn't blog, but not the actual reason).  He came into San Antonio, so I had to drive down to get him, but trust me, I had plenty of time had I really wanted to blog.

The main reason I didn't blog on Friday is

3) I had been completely sucked into the Hunger Games trilogy, and was close to finishing Mocking Jay. I absolutely could not put it down before I left for the airport. 

Multiple people have told me over the years that I should read the series, but I had other things to read first, and until recently haven't had a lot of time to sit down to read (other than on airplanes).  Last week Erin told me that she had started the series and was totally hooked and I really needed to start them.  They've been loaded on my Kindle for ages waiting for me to get to them, but on Tuesday I finally decided to start.  That's right, I started the series on Tuesday, and finished yesterday morning while Sakief slept.  That's how much I liked them.  I must also admit that I also read faster than the average person, but they are decently easy books to read.

The writing was just incredible.  It is definitely a super disturbing story, but the writing is absolutely excellent.  I couldn't believe the visual imagery (often times disturbing as I mentioned), but the fact that Suzanne Collins wrote so well that I could make a clear mental image for every scene kept me hooked.  If you haven't read them yet, do yourself a favor, and do it! 

This weekend with Sakief was incredible as always.  It was nice to be able to spend most of the day Friday with him, and not just Saturday and Sunday.  I am very thankful that my office was closed on Friday, the more time with him, the better.  We got to go to Salt Lick Friday night with Adam, Erin and Maiya, then did some kayaking on Saturday, and finished the day with a date of Indian food and The Dark Knight Rises.  Today we just relaxed before making the trek back to SA. 

Our next scheduled visit isn't until Labor Day, but I will likely be in Pensacola before then.  We are waiting for his jaw surgery to be scheduled (which has been more than frustrating), but if for some reason it doesn't happen until September I'm still hoping to make it to PCola sometime in August.  6 weeks apart is a little more time than I'm comfortable with.

I'm going to be kicking my butt in the gym this week to make up for the weekend, but I'm finding that I can (and want to) work out longer and longer.  Thursday I was on the elliptical and recumbent bike for 2.5 hours, it was awesome.  I can also tell that my arms are getting stronger.  Weight lifting is easier, and there are some yoga poses that I couldn't hold for long that now are no problem.  Go arms go!

Weekly summary:
Current weight: 224.5 lbs
Work outs: 4
To go: 25/40

Cauliflower Pizza Crust

As promised, a recipe for cauliflower pizza crust.  I won't bore you with the other ingredients as it doesn't matter to me how you top your pizza.  I love this recipe.  I even told Sakief it might be the best low carb substitute I've found, other than mashed cauliflower (which I have yet to master, but Sakief makes so well).  I see a trend... cauliflower apparently makes a great substitute!  I'll have to see what other cauliflower recipes I come across.

2 eggs
2 cups fat free shredded mozzarrella
2 cups riced, fresh, uncooked cauliflower (use a cheese grater)
minced garlic
basil (or other herbs of your liking)

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.  Mix all ingredients together.  Line a baking sheet with foil and spray with cooking spray.  Spread mixture on baking sheet to desired thickness (mine looked good when it was approximately the size of a medium take out pizza).  Bake 15 mins (I went for 20 mins thinking it didn't look done enough, but don't forget that it will go back in the oven once you top it).  Crust should look browned, but not yet crispy.  Remove from oven.  At this point I used a spatula to separate the crust from the foil.  Top with desired toppings, and place it in the oven for and additional 10 mins or so, until crust looks crispy on the edges and cheese is melted.

I found that it is hard to pick up like a regular slice of pizza, but not impossible.  Expect to use a fork though!

Enjoy!

Unbaked Crust

Baked Crust (A little more brown than it should be)

Finished Product!

Sharing is Caring

It definitely appears that my little freak out last week was for naught.  I eluded to it earlier this week, but with my official weigh in this morning, I am down to my lowest weight yet... and 6 lbs since last week!  Thank you detox tea for helping me see all the hard work I've been doing!

Being down 6 lbs from last week also means that I've hit my latest mini goal... 60 lbs by today!!  I have lost exactly 60 lbs since the beginning of my journey, and I am thrilled!  Thank you all for the support and love through my ups and downs.  I've got quite a bit left to go, and I hope you'll see me through.

Recently my gym put up a large board that asks members to share their 90 day goals, and there are markers to write them down.  Today I'm going to add mine, and that is to weigh less than 200 lbs.  That also means that today I am going to be sharing my actual weight, not just what I've lost.  I have thought about it a lot for the past week, and with this morning's weigh in, I feel confident that my goal is attainable. I am planning to lose 25 lbs in 90 days!  That's about in line with the rate that I have been losing weight (8-10 lbs a month), and I know that now that I've set the goal, I'll work even harder to get there.

Starting weight: 284.5 lbs
Current weight: 224.5 lbs
90 day (Oct 12) goal: 199.5 lbs
Pounds to go: 40/25
Work outs this week: 3, thank goodness!

Stay tuned for a few recipes I'll be sharing soon.  Cauliflower pizza crust and stuffed tomatoes!

This is why I blog

I originally sat down to write a blog post about an hour and a half ago.  I was going to write about how I hadn't been to the gym since Sunday, and why I wasn't going to go tonight, even though I knew I should.  But as I began composing the post in my head (I often do this through out the day, and inevitably forget something witty I planned to say that once I remember, no longer makes any sense in a future post), I realized that every excuse I had for NOT working out today, was exactly WHY I SHOULD.

I have made a conscious decision not to lie in my blog, not even a little (at least intentionally).  So not only did I realize that I had no valid excuse for not working out, but I also realized that I felt guilty about the idea of not working out, and embarrassed to have to tell the truth in such a public forum.  That was the motivation I needed, and I promptly changed from my PJs to a sports bra and yoga pants and ran out the door.

So now, here I sit, still sweaty from an hour on the elliptical, and so glad for it.  And this is why I blog.  It really does keep me accountable.  Thanks.

EDIT: Also, Sakief.  Sakief helped convince me to work out.  Can't forget to acknowledge my man :)

Detox and Decompress

Friday was a rough day, obviously.  I was excited for my last personal training session because I knew he'd work me hard, and it would help get the frustration out.  Which is sort of right... he worked me so hard, that I cried (frustration and pain, my knees were busted).  Literally had tears streaming down my face.  And once I got myself back together, I still got in the car and cried some more.  It was actually really cathartic.  Just a huge release of all my emotions.  Maybe a scream would have been less embarrassing (maybe), but the crying really helped.

What also really helped is the continued support that I am getting from so many people.  The fact is, when I don't believe in myself, I really do need to hear that others do.  I truly have the best support system, and wouldn't be doing so well without them.  Special thank yous to Sakief, Mollye, Erin and Cassie who really understand what I'm going through, and are always willing to listen to me vent.

I took Mollye's advice and picked up a detox tea on my way to the gym on Friday.  Not only has it helped me feel better physically, but emotionally as well.  I drink a cup before bed and it helps relax me, so I have been sleeping better.  I'm still a little on edge, but know that this will pass.  I was curious to see if the detox teas really help so I've been on the scale that past few days.  Since it's not my official weigh in day, I won't share specifics, but this morning I was at my lowest weight yet!  Fingers crossed I don't fluctuate too much throughout the week (I know I'll flux a little, always do), and can announce an official loss on Friday!

Today I got back in my Sunday routine of 10 am yoga, and 11:15 spinning.  Yoga was lovely, as always.  Spinning sucked.  I really pushed myself hard last week, and am still in a lot of pain (actual pain, not just soreness, you should see the bruises on my knees), so unfortunately I couldn't last the whole class.  Since I'm still a beginner, I'm really trying not to overdo it.  No sense in injuring myself.  I still had a 500 cal work out, so I'm pretty happy with that.  Next week will be better :)

Bad Mood

This morning I am in a shitty bad mood.  For a few reasons.  One of them being that I gained weight (insert expletives here).  Not only did I gain weight, but I went backwards a decade.  I knew I would, but already being a bad mood, it just pushed me over the edge.  And it makes me mad at myself, because I know I gained weight because I ate poorly for a lot of the week.  Despite the fact that I know why I gained the weight, I'm becoming very discouraged.  I've stopped seeing positive changes and actually think you can see negative ones.  I feel huge again, and don't really like the sight of myself in the mirror.  I won't give up, but it's hard to keep fighting when it seems like I can't win.

The issue that I'm finding is that I am losing my will power when around other people (like a weekend in Pensacola, and a 4th of July BBQ... stupid homemade guacamole and chips).  This is definitely where I need to get myself back in check.  Otherwise I ate just fine this week, but I clearly overdid it enough in those few days to mess me up.  I even worked out quite a bit (5 times this week, phew!).

But what is really making me angry this morning is Time Warner Cable (you warned me Cassie and Sam).  My cable box has decided to start refreshing itself every few hours, and sometimes every few minutes, for no apparent reason.  I've tried "troubleshooting" with a remote technician several times and it's not working.  This morning my remote tech told me he'd schedule a service call... in 4 days.  And my window will be 8am-9pm.  Are you effing kidding me?  A 13 hour window?  It's completely unacceptable, and I am fairly certain that once I move (February, wee), I will be looking into other cable/internet providers.  Gah!

I think if I don't stop ranting I'm just going to work myself up even more, and I need to get ready for work.  Next week will be better, I hope.

Total weight lost: 54
To go: 46
Work outs this week: 5
Pounds to lose before next week: 6, eff!!!

Tortilla Tuesday

This is probably not going to become a long term thing, but welcome to the inaugural addition of Tortilla Tuesday.  There are a few things I've found (this these chicken nuggets), that are easy, healthy things to eat.  One of those things, are high fiber, low carb tortillas by Ole.  Each one has 73 calories and 12g of fiber, enough said (Erin lovingly refers to them as my poop tortillas, but trust me, they taste great). 

I use them for lots of things, most often for chicken enchiladas, yum!  It's an easy way for me to curb carb cravings without feeling guilty since most of the carbs are fiber.

Unfortunately I haven't been able to find them outside of Pensacola, so I have to import them when I visit.  It also means that I have only myself to eat them, and once a package is opened, they need to be eaten.  Hence, Tortilla Tuesday, a forum I will use to post different ways to use the tortillas (because they shouldn't get boring).

Tonight's edition: Pizza Quesadillas, an idea that I got from Pinterest, of course.

I often have used the tortillas as a base for pizza, but never thought of folding it to make it easier to eat (duh).  It made it so much easier!

My pizza quesadillas (2 of them, yum, it was like eating 2 big pieces of pizza), were a total of about 330 calories (the calorie equivalent of 1 typical piece of pizza). 

I used a little bit of canned pasta sauce (like Ragu) as the base.  The toppings were mushrooms, onions, and turkey pepperoni.  Sprinkle on a bit of fat free mozzarella (1/2 cup total) and some oregano, fold in half, and pop in the oven (350 degrees) for about 10 mins.

 It was delish, and super satisfying!  Not only knocked out a carb craving, but a pizza craving as well!

I had my second personal training session today, and I loved it!  My last one is Friday, and despite all of my complaining over the weekend because I was sore, I do think I'll miss it.  Sad. 

Happy Fourth of July!

Eat All the Things!

I promised Mollye that I would blog about brunch yesterday, so here it is!  Pensacola does brunch well, and despite my desire to lose weight, apparently my desire to eat all the things, such as a jumbo chocolate chip pancake, won out.  I had dreamt about pancakes, there was nothing I could do (and apparently Bobby dreamt about the amazing cinnamon roll french toast that he "split" with Mollye, oh the life of a low carb diet!)

Behold breakfast!

This is about half of the food on our table.  There were 9 of us, but one is actually 9 (or maybe 8), and one is 9 months, so I feel like they don't count (although Cole ate most of his omelet, it was impressive).  

As you can tell, this was not a good weekend for me food wise.  I can only hope to kick my butt enough in the gym this week to work it off.  Sakief tried to talk me out of eating all the things, but also knows better than to fight with me when I want food, haha, good man.

We had an incredible weekend, and I can't wait for him to be here in a few weeks!  I have lots of fun activities planned, but the best part is just getting to spend time together (cue the sappy music). 

I did manage to drag my overeating butt to the gym today, despite the fact that I'm still incredibly sore from Friday's personal training work out.  Ow.  What I learned from Friday is that I'm not anywhere close to being in shape.  And my body is paying for it dearly.  I go again tomorrow, pray for me, haha.